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Starry days for Vajpayee, gloomy ones for Swamy

On a rainy day in Delhi last week, 60 scholars, all stargazers of one sort or other, gathered around a crystal ball to look into Prime Minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee's future. After much squinting and staring and hmm-ing and hah-ing, the group arrived at a unanimous conclusion:

"The stars will shine on Atalji very shortly," it announced, "The problems plaguing his government will vanish."

This, the scholars explained, is due to a positive rearrangement of planets in the high heavens. Vajpayee's troubles are all because of Subramanian Swamy, born in rahu kal, and, as such, destined to be the fly in the PM's oil.

But not anymore.

The astrologers who scrutinised the cosmic graphs of Vajpayee and his enemies feel that the days ahead are light and bright for him. The new starry alignment would protect him from all evil and spell gloom for his enemies.

And among the first of Vajpayee's enemies to go down the political drain is Swamy, who is 'circumscribed by the grid of his astro-map to play spoiler.'

The astrologers had come together in the capital to celebrate the birth anniversary of India's first governor general, C Rajagopalachari.

"Saturn," said astropalmist Dr Seshadri (who clarified he had "no political affiliations" whatsoever), "the planet capable of wreaking havoc on an individual's life, has eased its hold on Mr Vajpayee. (So) Pakistan too will cease to be a problem for the Indian prime minister."

Dr Seshadri termed the troubles which the 100-day-old Vajpayee government had to face as "temporary jerks." "Mr Vajpayee will now be able to successfully solve many outstanding problems in the country," he said.

The government, continued the man who takes credit for predicting many important events that have visited India, will complete its term without much trouble.

"The Ayodhya temple will be built in this government's term," Dr Seshadri claimed.

Another scholar, who took great pleasure in pouring scorn on All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam chief Jayalalitha Jayaram, claimed that Saturn has 'just entered' her home.

"While her Jupiter may bring her wealth, the overriding influence of Saturn will negate everything for her," Dr Seshadri added.