When Satyan Shah enrolled at Boston University, he also decided to join the school's Chi Phi fraternity. But though he found the members of the fraternity to be similar to his friends at home, he was also aware of the reputation many college fraternities suffer from.

"There is a long-standing stigma that fraternity guys either contribute to the environment where girls get raped or rape girls themselves," said Shah, the 20-year-old president of Chi Phi.

"Statistically probably this fact is backed up. But we thought that if we want to destroy the generalization the best way to do it is with some sort of education."

Although Boston University does not have a date rape problem, last week Shah -- now a junior at the school's College of Engineering -- organized a panel discussion with his fraternity brothers on ways to prevent sexual assault against women on campus. Date rape is one of the most talked about phenomenon on college campuses.

Unfortunately, it is also one of the most misunderstood and as a result often goes unreported.

Foreign students, particularly Indians raised on Bollywood movies, have a problem understanding the concept and the dangers of sexual assault on campus, experts said. "In a college study of 3,000 women, 75 per cent of those who had experienced what is the legal definition of rape, did not know that they had been raped," said Dr Judy Pierson, a licensed psychologist with Boston University's counseling center.

Pierson was the keynote speaker at the Silence the Violence panel discussion, organized by Shah. "Only one in 10 (date rape) cases get reported, one in 100 result in a court trial and one in 1,000 lead to a conviction," Pierson added.

In fact, there is a much higher prosecution and conviction rate in rape cases by strangers, she said. Facts of date rape cases almost always go down to "she said versus he said", Pierson explained.

"If the woman had been drinking, she will think that it is her fault and that no one will believe her and unfortunately juries do tend to err in that direction."

In Massachusetts, if a man has sex with a woman who is intoxicated, that by definition is rape, because she is considered unable to legally give consent, Pierson said. Similar laws exist in other states too.

"The person is considered impaired, compromised in her ability to make a judgement. It is like forcing someone who is mentally retarded to have sex. I think that a lot of men do not know this fact."

Women, especially those coming from traditional cultures such as India, are taught to be polite and not to upset or disappoint other people, Pierson said. This makes it all the more difficult for them to say "no" to a man.

Often female students, from countries like India, do not report date rape assaults due to the social stigma of being linked to a person from outside their community, added Shamita Das Dasgupta, founding member and program director for Manavi, a New Jersey-based South Asian woman group.

"A lot of the times the young women who are dating, especially on college campuses have not told their parents," Dasgupta said. "That actually makes them extremely vulnerable and forces them to be silent."

Dasgupta said that often there is confusion about what rape means -- especially for young women who may have grown up in India and were exposed to Bollywood films. Rape in Bollywood films is usually perpetuated by strangers and Indian women are never brought up to believe that they could be raped by someone whom they may know, she felt.

"And so young women who are date raped have a lot of difficulty recognizing it until after the fact."

For 19 year-old Pooja Bhatnagar, a sophomore at Barnard College, New York City, staying safe means being street smart. "It means you don't put yourself into situations when you know something is going to happen to you," Bhatnagar, a vice president of the Barnard/Columbia Indian students group Club Zamana, said.

"If some boys are sitting rowdy and drunk, you don't want to go near them, because you really do not know what can happen. When they are intoxicated, they can't control themselves."

Women on college campuses need to be very proactive, concluded Pierson. "I don't think women should have to live as if each man is a potential rapist," she said. "It is not a fair way for them to live, especially at this age group, when they want to have connections and relationships with partners with the opposite sex."

Pierson offers her list of dos and don'ts that she likes to emphasize with university students.

• If you are going to a party where there is drinking, make sure you go with a friend, who will not leave without you.

• The more you drink at a party, the more you put yourself at a risk, for being a victim of sexual assault.

• Make sure you have money to take a cab home from a party.

• Open the drink that you are going to drink. Do not let anyone bring you a drink. It is not uncommon for people to spike the drink with strong alcohol or some of the date rape drugs, which are tasteless, odorless and colorless and can be easily slipped into the drink.

• Look for warning signs, red flags or the certain kind of men one should stay away from... Someone who is too controlling, or does not respect your needs and your feelings. Someone who wants to get involved too quickly and becomes possessive very quickly. Men who say things that are demeaning about woman.

• A vast majority of rapes occur with men that women know. So paying attention and getting to know the man, before you are alone with him is a good idea. Meet in a public place, and get a chance to know the man. However, if a woman chooses to be alone with a man, that does not mean that she is asking to be assaulted.

• If you find yourself in a situation where a person is doing something they are not supposed to, do not be afraid to use the word rape or say this is sexual assault, because that can be very sobering for men.

• Women do not have to go to fraternity parties, they are not the safest places. A lot of campuses sponsor social events that do not revolve around alcohol.

Making new social connections is always a challenge for freshmen, especially if they are coming from another country, Pierson said. "We advise people to reach out to others and that is a good way to protect yourself and to have a good solid network of friends to spend time with," she said.

"It is anxiety provoking to meet new people. So we tell new students to everyday take a risk to introduce your self to one new person in your class. And then if you need something familiar, to go back to your room, read a book or e-mail a friend."

This is part of a series on campus life

Design: Dominic Xavier

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